Belly Billboard

What exactly is the Belly Billboard?  Well, it’s pretty simple and you should feel bad for asking, but I won’t hold it against you this one time.  The idea is not completely original, people have been selling ad space on their bodies for years.  But, you almost NEVER see someone with a hairy old beer gut offering this service, so I’m here to fill in the niche.

Basically, you pay me $5 for a digital photo of your message written on my hairy beer gut.  This can be a message proposing marriage to your one true love, it can be a message announcing divorce to your one true hatred.  It’s perfect for baby announcements, product endorsements, anniversaries, birthdays, bar mitzvahs, bat mitzvahs, and any other occasion you can possibly imagine.

There are no limits as to what I will write on this luscious beer belly of mine, but don’t get too long-winded.  I mean, it’s a huge space for sure, but if you want it legible, let’s keep it to 10 words or less if at all possible, huh?  Don’t get greedy.    Also, remember, it’s YOUR fault if you get into legal troubles with your message.  I’m just the fat guy with the lipstick on his gut.

Need more space?  Order two pictures, it’s that easy.  Satisfaction (or disgust) is guaranteed, so what are you waiting for?  What? What? On My Gut!

All photos are sent via Email in 300dpi JPG format.  You are free to do with them as you please, and I will ask with every order that I be allowed to display it on my site, as examples of my previous work.  You don’t have to allow that, but it’d be nice.  I will not display any newly purchased messages on my site for 2 full weeks, so as not to risk spoiling your suprise.

In between photo shoots, I blog.  What do I blog about?  Anything really, nothing’s off limits.  It keeps me off the streets at night.