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Category: Commentary

16Jan

Rupert Murdoch Hates Welfare Fatties

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Elitist Aussies hate welfare and fat chicks.

Earlier this week, a woman, Ulanda Williams, fell through a sidewalk on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. She survived the nearly six foot free fall with only a few scrapes and a broken arm.

Rupert Murdoch, however, took to Twitter to share his feelings on the subject:

How did fat lady who fell thru street get to 400 lbs?Welfare, stamps, etc?Then leave us all with 20yrs immense health bills.

— Rupert Murdoch(@rupertmurdoch) January 15, 2013

Apparently Ms. Williams is a lady of substantial size and medical professionals said that’s what saved her from more serious injuries. I’m sorry, what? Did a doctor, with an actual degree tell this woman that because she had a fat ass, she wasn’t more seriously injured? Oh that’s classic.

I disagree with Murdoch assuming it was Welfare that helped her gain all of her weight, but I do enjoy a good “fatty falling through things they shouldn’t” story.

How big do you have to be to break a sidewalk? They’re like 8 inches of concrete and steel rebar. This makes me feel good about my obesity. I haven’t broken through the asphalt yet.

01Aug

An Opinion Piece

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I am the most ridiculed, despised, ridiculously mis-labeled person in America. Why is that? I’m a white male, in my late 30′s who owns his own fledgling business and doesn’t subscribe to organized religion. If I was religious, I would be somehow worse.

The only person you can safely pick on and dump your anger upon is the white man. Don’t talk about African Americans, Latinos, Women, Gays or Lesbians though, that’s insensitive, racist, sexist, bigoted, discriminatory and just flat wrong. These people have rights. They’ve been oppressed. And I won’t argue that fact. These people HAVE been and in some cases often still ARE oppressed in some way, shape or form. I feel for them all, I truly do. But you know what? No matter what you think of me and my beliefs, I have the same rights you do.

I believe that you have the right to be who you are without worrying who’s going to try to make you feel miserable. I believe you have the right to marry whomever you want to, and be happy. I believe you have the right to choose where you shop and where you eat and what you watch on television and what foods you consume. I also believe you have the right to disagree with me 100% on any or all things I believe in.

What I don’t believe in, however, is that you have the right to make me change to suit you. In as much as I don’t have the right to change you to suit my beliefs. I think we can all agree on that one, tiny, often overlooked point.

Chick Fil A has been under fire ever since their Septagenarian CEO made his comments against the LBGT community. There have been protests, there have been boycotts, demonstrations and lots and lots of rage directed towards this company. That’s your right if you choose to participate. You are absolutely welcome to feel the way you do, and I don’t necessarily think you’re wrong for feeling the way you do.

I also think, you should step back for just a minute and realize that while you have your rights to feel the way you do, that this old man has the right to feel the way he does. That doesn’t make it right, it doesn’t make it more palatable, it just states that he has the right to his beliefs. Nothing more, nothing less.

I’ve heard the argument that the LBGT community shouldn’t have to endure ridicule for standing up for their beliefs. Well, in a perfect world, they shouldn’t. But this is FAR FAR FAR from a perfect world that we live in. And when everyone has a right to believe what they want to believe, to subscribe to a set of religious teachings (or not) and to have free will to make their own decisions, there is bound to be conflicting sides.

Should the LBGT community suck it up and shut up? No. Our African American community protested and demonstrated and fought for their equal rights in this country. And it was a long, brutal, often bloody battle for them. It was sickening, to say the very least. But they didn’t give up their fight, and I don’t expect anyone else to either.

To that end, however, I also believe that it’s up to you to keep your fight going. You cannot expect or demand of another human being to change their long held, often in-born beliefs just because you think they should. It will take a long time to win your fight, and if you keep at it sensibly and with determination, you will win this fight. I support you, even if I don’t always agree with you. You simply cannot expect someone who was born into a society and religion that is dead-set against your lifestyle (I’m sorry if that’s the wrong word here) to up and change his mind because you don’t like it.

It seems to me that whenever someone is the underdog, they feel everyone else is closed-minded and not open to new ideas, new ways of thinking or simply hearing your side. You’re also at fault. You’re not willing to understand that these people who are against you, aren’t against you out of spite, it goes against EVERYTHING THEY’VE EVER KNOWN TO BE RIGHT. True change takes a long time, and many of us out here are trying to change as fast as we can, many more have changed and even more didn’t need to change because they were with you the entire time.

That small, or not so small, section of society that’s against you will eventually lose their fight. It’s inevitable. But to lambaste each and every one of them that continues to oppose you, merely brings you down to their level. Try acceptance, you know, that thing you’re fighting so hard for? Accept the fact that some people simply WILL NEVER change for you, it’s just how life works.

Keep fighting for your rights through legal and moral channels. Don’t rush into Chick Fil A and start berating the employees for working there, they might have no other option to support their families and themselves. Sometimes you have to take a job because you need to earn an income. Instead, direct your ire towards the CEO and those like him. Organize yourselves and be smart about your attacks.

Boycotting Chick Fil A will never, EVER change that CEO’s opinions or beliefs. Even if you put him completely out of business, he’s not going to wake up one day and say to himself “Hey, you know what? I was wrong.” Instead, he’s going to wake up and say “I was wrong to say it, but now I hate those people even more.”

You don’t win by ruining his business, at least not in any meaningful and long-lasting way. You hurt the guy who’s hurting your feelings. You’re not changing the way society and our politicians view you at all.

Simply put, you have a right to be happy and believe what you want to believe. You have a right to live your life the way that feels natural to you. So does everyone else, even if their point of view is 180 degrees the opposite of yours.

30Jul

An Open Letter To The Sad Guy Buying Enzyte at Walgreens

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In addition to a freakishly massive wang, Bob showers once in a while.

Dear Sad Guy With The Presumably Undersized Penis:

This past Sunday while I was waiting in line behind you at Walgreens, I couldn’t help but notice you were purchasing an incredibly large amount of Enzyte. The reason I couldn’t help but notice was due to the cashier waving it around like it was on fire and she was trying to put it out. I feel sorry for you bro.

Look, I admire your courage in purchasing dick-lengthening pills in public, in South Carolina at a Walgreens from a curmudgeonly old cashier who must have had some thoughts as to what size baby batter cannon you were packing. I know I had some thoughts.

First and foremost, I want to point out that I do not think less of you in any way. It’s kind of like a good 12 step program. The first step is to recognize you have a problem, and you apparently recognized your problem as being hung like a mosquito. Bravo. Now that you have identified your problem, you took straight to step two in that you were seeking help for your affliction, as it were.

Let me let you in on a little secret. I’m by no means a lady killer. I had to bribe my wife with a mini van and dinner at Appleby’s twice a month in order to get her to agree to marry me, so I know what it’s like to have to take drastic measures to find a woman to spend your life with. I’m with you bro.

But here’s the secret. Try cleaning up a little bit once in a while. It looked like you just came back from Bosley Hair Restoration after making your weekly donation to the cause. You were one hairy damn dude. That unibrow, while rockin’, probably isn’t going to attract too many of the opposite sex. Unless, of course, you luck into finding a girl that gets all gooey over Sasquatch videos.

Second, and this is important, your khaki jort-style shorts have to go. They’re way out of style, and the greasy palm prints on the pockets weren’t helping your cause either. They’re fine if you’re hanging around the computer, jerking it to the internet, but not for going out in public to buy dick medicine. I’m sorry, that was insensitive, you may not be packing enough pickle to jerk it. So, I guess you’d be rubbing it? Flicking it? I don’t know, however you manage to masturbate with a tiny pecker. Seriously, don’t tweezers chafe that poor little thing?

Finally, bathe. BATHE. That involves getting into the shower, turning on the water and standing under it while you wash with soap and in your case probably Lysol disinfectant. I mean, geez. Even French people cover that stink up with shitty cologne. Make an effort guy.

With all you have going against you, a small pud is probably the least of your concerns. First you have to find another human being who’s willing to be naked in your presence and might consider letting you touch her. Or him, I’m not here to judge.

Take care of that hygiene thing, and then worry about your tic-tac sized dong. And besides, they’ve proven that Enzyte doesn’t actually work. If it did, they wouldn’t be able to keep it in stock. Women would be fleeing the country in droves, trying to avoid the 50 foot cock-monsters that were chasing them around town.

Sincerely,

Gutmeister

19Jul

An Open Letter To Young Men

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Seriously, I'll swallow! "Wait, I almost got Luigi past the castle, put your boobs away"

Dear Bro/Dude/Homie/Jedi-Knight/Level 78 Master of Somesuchshit,

Let me let you in on a little secret. It’s something you aren’t even aware of at this moment but if affects you greatly. Do you, as an 18 – 30 year old “adult” remember the times in your life when you were simply DYING to have a woman let you touch her body? When you would have given your right arm just to press flesh with a FEMALE? Do you?

Well, now that you’ve suckered some poor girl into shacking up with you or marrying you, you’ve gotten complacent. You put your buds, your bros, your dudes, your world of warcraft pals, and your goddamn video games ahead of her. What the serious F*CK is wrong with you?

Did you know that she can decide that you’ll never touch her again, that you’ll never see her naked anymore? That’s her call dude. Wake up. Those goddamn games of yours will ALWAYS be there. Don’t get all pissy when she comes up and wants to fool around. ”Dammit Shannon, I’m almost to level 4 here! Put your tits away!”. WHAT? Have you lost your goddamned mind?

Level 4 sucks. Just like Levels 1 – 3 sucked. They are childish stupid wastes of time. Unless you are busy saving the earth from Armageddon or you’re in the middle of truly advanced neurosurgery, there is no reason that anyone will accept for you putting what you’re currently doing over having naked time with your woman.

You are a disgrace to man. MEN take pride in their women and spend TIME with their women. You little pissant boys are more worried about becoming Sky Commander or something on your silly little games. You basically suck and you’re undeserving of a woman.

I’ll tell you what, Skippy. If you don’t have time to please your woman, just send her my way. That way, you can keep on racking up kill points and other insane, unimportant shit while I’m putting the blocks to your girl, and she’s forgetting all about you. Sounds fair to me.

27May

Football and Kids and Sissy Ass Parents

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OH MY GOD!!! The HORROR!!!

I was just reading a newspaper article, I know right? Who knew they still made newspapers? Anyhow, there’s this movement across the country, or at the very least in Florida, where parents will not allow their children to play full contact football anymore. They blame the Junior Seau suicide.

I have a problem with this line of thinking. First and foremost, have they proven that Junior’s problems in life had any direct connection to the impact of the game of football? I understand that head injuries are super-serious business. I understand that today’s parents are sissified and try to protect their kids from every single thing there is. ”Don’t insult my child at school, that will hurt his feelings. His feelings are more important than your feelings because he’s a special little snowflake.”

It’s the continued sissification of our youth that’s going to lead to dark days in the future. Bullying is a serious thing, but if you don’t learn to DEAL with bullying, rather than running to an adult to solve your problems, how will you survive in a global economy where other countries don’t give a flying shit about how you feel at night? Do you think they care if you die tomorrow? They don’t, in case you still didn’t know the answer.

Back to youth football. Yes. Football is a dangerous sport. You know what else is dangerous? Living. Being a human being out in the world is dangerous. You can get crushed by a car tomorrow and it would ruin your weekend plans. You can get slapped in the head by a crack head in the wrong part of town. Nobody other than YOU is going to care.

Let these kids play sports. Let them experience the game. Sure, it’s a risk, but so is getting out of bed. Quit sheltering your children from anything potentially unpleasant and they’ll grow up to be the next GREAT generation.

The path we’re on now is leading to the pussified future that people are afraid of. It sucks. Pure and simple. Life is shit unless you learn to deal with shit and get past it. There’s plenty of great things going on in the world, one of them is youth football.

I coached Pop Warner football for 5 years. I taught nearly hundreds of kids how to play the game properly and safely. Did any of them get hurt? Absolutely, it’s the nature of the game. Do I honestly believe that any of them will have suicidal tendancies due to injuries sustained in a game? Nope.

See, the way I see it is that Junior had some demons in his life and they were exacerbated by his injuries…and that’s being generous. I think it’s horrible what happened to him. I wish that he didn’t do that, but I don’t blame the game he played and I don’t blame the injuries from that game either. I’m sure if he could, he would tell you the same thing. He LOVED the game. He enjoyed the impact and the hits and the brutality of it. That’s what he lived for.

Parents, if you don’t want your precious little snowflake playing the game, that’s your call. But don’t blame the game or Junior Seau for your apprehensions. That’s on you. That is YOUR call. The game in and of itself is fine. Look at the history of players that have retired from the game, long before the latest safety changes. The vast majority may deal with knee, back, etc injuries, but there have been precious few fatalities from it. And they’ll even be the first to tell you as much.

Grow up, be a smart parent not an asshole parent who feels the need to end a sport because you’re uncomfortable with it. My sons have played a combined 10 years of football between them. My 12 year old has played since he was 4, and played contact since he was 6. He’s a center, a guard, a tackle, a nosetackle and a defensive end. He’s involved in impact EVERY play and he’s perfectly fine. My 9 year old played 4 seasons worth, 2 of them in full contact ball.

He’s also fine. My youngest, 8, played flag football and 1 year of full contact. He’s fine. That’s a 100% success rate. And if one of them got hurt playing? I’d get them treatment and they’d want to go back and play injured. Not because I want them to, but because they want to. It’s something you can’t teach. They have a desire to perform and be the best they can be. THAT is the American spirit that’s so lacking in this country today.

Quit pussifying our future. Grow up and let them take a chance.

09Feb

Labels Are the Real Problem

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Labels. You see them everywhere you turn. On that can of soup, on the case of beer you bought me, on your underwear, on my underwear…hey! What are you doing looking at my underwear?

Labels are the problem with society. I’m not saying they don’t have their place, as they most certainly do. What I am saying is that when something is labeled a certain way, then that’s the only way most people are willing to see it. Here’s an example for you:

rabbit 150x150 Labels Are the Real Problem

You like my duck? It's a duck.

See that duck up there? It’s nothing special, mind you, just a silly little duck image I found while searching around. But wait, it’s also a rabbit. Is your mind blown? It’s blown right? AmIRight? I’m right. You were perfectly willing to accept that that image above was a duck and only a duck because I labeled it as such. And if you were willing to just accept my label of “duck” you might never have seen the rabbit, and you would have missed out on that facet of the image. (more…)

07Feb

10 Reasons Men Just Have It Better

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Men are good at this, fixing cars, mowing lawns and scratching balls. Not necessarily in that order though.

It’s a fact. Men are happier overall than women, and it’s because everything is just simply better for us. I’m not being sexist, and I’m certainly not trying to upset any fringe groups of militant cashiers on the internet, but the simple truth of the matter is that men on the whole have it better than women.

Now I’m sure I’m going to get blasted by some feminist fruitcake who wants to let me know that they, in fact, can do many of the things I’m about to say they can’t below. To that handful of insecure and lonely women, all I can offer is “So what?”

My goal here isn’t to be specific to every person on the planet, that would be impossible and I’d have to figure out which category to put Rosie O’donnel in. Honestly that’s not fair to anyone, and I believe she opens jars with her ass and some udder butter. But now I’m getting off track and I’d just as soon get into this article about 10 Reasons Men Have it Better than Women.

1. Our last name stays put. Unless you’re one of those sissy-men who takes his wife’s last name or hyphenates his name to show equality or some other such drivel, the man’s name never changes when he gets married. Of course, if he’s marrying two or more women in different states, then maybe his name does change, but that’s purely by chance, and not at all necessary to the ceremony.

2. Speaking of weddings, the plans for a wedding just magically take care of themselves. Sure, you might have to help pick out a china pattern or agree on the buffet menu, but otherwise those things are simple. I don’t understand why women have such a stressful time with these things. Mine was a breeze. I rented a tux, showed up at the church, went to the Moose Lodge afterwards and we partied. Easy as pie. Plus, it’s cheaper for us. Tux Rental – $350, Wedding Dress – $5,000

3. We can open all of our own jars. Again, this only applies if you’re not a sissified, pseudo-man who hyphenates his name and waxes his groin.

4. People never stare at our breasts when we’re talking to them. And if they do, they’re doing it because of our massively impressive pectoral muscles that make us oh-so-macho and tough looking. Never because they want to get us out of our clothes and motorboat us.

5. Our underwear is about $7.50 for a three pack. There’s limited options: Briefs, boxers, boxer-briefs. (If you said bikini cut, you may as well go ahead and hyphenate your last name and let me open that jar for you, Nancy)

6. Our hairstyle remains in fashion for years, if not decades.

7. Wrinkles simply add character, and grey hair is a distinguishing characteristic. Women simply get old and grey.

8. We can go on a 5 day vacation and have more than enough clothing in a single suitcase.

9. Same work, more pay.

10. We can get Christmas shopping done for two-dozen relatives on December 24th in just under an hour.

In conclusion, all I can say is that it’s great to be a man. We don’t have the problems that women do and we’re not expected to be anything more than what we are. Belching, farting, scratching, hairy, smelly, lazy lumps of humanity, and it’s not only acceptable, it’s quite often expected of us.

03Feb

Roseanne Barr Wants to be President

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If this president thing doesn't work out, maybe she can star in Throw Momma From the Train 2

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT!!!!!! That’s all I can say after reading this AP news story. Roseanne Barr filed the papers to get the Green Party’s support as she attempts to run for president of the United States. This is the best thing I’ve heard ever since Donald Trump pretended he was going to run and forced that jack-wagon in Washington to give us access to his birth certificate.

In terms of dumbest goddamned thing ever, Roseanne is definitely coming out swinging. She’s at least in the top 5 dumbest things ever now. Along with Ashton Kutcher being on TV, Ron Paul attempting yet one more run at the Presidency and Twinkies filing bankruptcy. It’s just astounding how stupid this is. I know she’s been out of the public’s eye, save for the following Snickers Commerical spot where they rightfully tried to kill her with a 3 ton swinging tree.

please install flash

So yeah, unless we get to pummel her with death dealing Aspen Pine trunks, I don’t really need to know anymore about her platform. Her agenda? Well she says that she has always represented the working class and women. Apparently rich women aren’t rich men, and therefore need this bag of fetid shit to represent them along with the dregs of society.

I don’t know, I really hope she gets the nomination and forces her Crypt-keeper looking ass into the national debates at least once. Can you imagine? Let’s say Romney wins the GOP nod, and we get to see Brian Williams moderate the next Presidential Debate:

Brian Williams: Thank you all for being here, welcome to the 2012 Presidential Debates. President Obama, Mr. Romney, Roseanne.

Obama: Thank you, it’s a pleasure to be here.

Romney: Thank you, it’s a pleasure to be here.

Roseanne: Aaaaah, you can kiss my fat ass. <obnoxious laughter> Isn’t that right Darlene? Darlene? Ah, damn kids.

Oh it would be glorious. What would her stance on Foreign Affairs be?

Roseanne: Well the way I see it, we should make all them Eye-Rackees work in a plastic fork factory for minimum wage until they learn they can start a restaurant with their sister and lesbian mother. And to make it even funnier, let’s add Martin Mull as a gay man to run the joint.

The Economy?

Roseanne: Just do what I did. Win the lottery and dream that you killed your husband off. Then go back on that plot line because the fans hated that you survived and John Goodman didn’t.

Gay Marriage?

Roseanne: Ah, who cares. Munch a carpet, smoke a pole. Just make sure you buy my new book “Roseanne: A life worth living is worth living on a pile of Hagen-Daas.” Hell, I married Tom Arnold for a season, and that was worse than Gay marriage. That was retarded marriage. I think all gay people should marry Tom Arnold first, if they last 6 months, then they can get married to someone who isn’t from outer space.

Let’s all get out the vote. Roseanne for President! The Connor Family goes to D.C. It could be a Movie of the Week!

31Jan

Cashiers Are A Testy Bunch

Posted in Commentary | 5 Comments

Artist's rendition of the Cashiers Are People Too tumblr blog.

Friends, something happened to me over the weekend. Something that’s never really happened before and I don’t know quite what to make of it. On January 26th, I published a little article entitled “The Grocery Store Cashier Friggin’ Hates Me” In this article, I wrote about my experiences shopping at the local grocery store, and giving the cashier some well deserved grief while purchasing my rations for the week.

Apparently, the article was picked up and shared on a Tumblr Blog called “Cashiers Are People Too” First off, we know that’s a farce. They’re cashiers. They’re not really people. I kid, I kid, after what happened to me I don’t want to incur their wrath once again. Anyways, I wrote the article in what I assumed everyone else who read it would realize was a fictionalized tale of my trials and tribulations while making a trip to the store. As I am wont to do, I embellished a few things, exaggerated a few others and flat made most of them up as I went along. I’m a pathological liar, is what I’m saying.

It would seem, however, that there is a contingent of workers among us that are working retail jobs, many as cashiers who took personal offense to my little story. They got their proverbial taints chapped. It would seem to me that when someone becomes a cashier, the companies they work for make it mandatory that they have their sense of humor and sarcasm removed. It’s a wonderful thing. I got 6 comments thanks to that article. And none of them were really very positive. I love it. Let me share them with you now:

Comment 1: From “Anon” - I’m going to go ahead and assume you’ve never worked a retail job before because if you did, you wouldn’t be such a generally awful person.

My rebuttal: Actually, I’ve worked many retail jobs from the time I was age 15, and I am 37 now. I’ve worked in 4 different grocery stores, one home improvement center, a toy store, and once installed cable for a living. That’s worse than retail, you get to deal with the same assholes, but you also get to perform real manual labor while you’re doing it. In fact, I’ve installed cable for a cashier and she was a total whack job, grade A, certifiably insane shit head.

Comment 2: From Msmidori7 - Wow. You’re the reason she hates her job, you know that? It isn’t the job that sucks. It’s the customers that come into the store with ^ attitude.

My rebuttal: I didn’t know that, she had every opportunity to tell me while I was there, but she didn’t. The job sucks, if you don’t think working as a cashier sucks, you’re most likely brain dead.

Comment 3: From Teastraights - Now, just a hunch, but I think the reason she (and by association most other cashiers) hates you is that you are an arrogant and inconsiderate ass of royal proportions. Just saying.

My rebuttal: I’m absolutely an arrogant and inconsiderate ass. Just ask all the charities I donate to, organizations I help out and youth sports teams I’ve assisted over the years. Just saying.

Comment 4: From Anonymous - you’re a complete asshole. simple as that.

My rebuttal: Nothing about me is that simple. I’m more than a complete asshole.

Comment 5: From Anon (this person gets worked up into multiple comments) What a weirdo. Who cares enough when they scan their card to get into a fight with the manager? And you do realize they probably have to scan all the heavy stuff themselves, right? It might be against store policy to let you do it. Some people just need a reason to get their panties in a bunch in the checkout lane.

My Rebuttal: Your Mom likes it when I get her panties in a bunch.

Comment 6: viva la momo! - You apparently don’t get laid.

My Rebuttal: I don’t even…huh? I have to wonder how a mind like this works to infer from my article that I don’t have sexual relations. Teenagers are such strange, excitable little creatures.

But the absolute coup de grace was from the operator of the Tumblr blog him/herself…on the site, under the article they re-blogged, they replied to me with:

One. Oh wow! You’re shopping for five people! Oh my goodness. Don’t you deserve a medal.Two, You’re not funny bro. Your rant about “manly” stuff was stupid and childish. My boyfriend says stuff like that. He is 19 you’re what? 30-40? Three. It’s our job to do everything. We have to basically treat you like you’re a helpless child, we have to scan and drag your 30 lbs of crap. If we don’t we get into trouble. Four. We have to ask you for your card. It makes it EASIER in the beginning so we don’t have to print out the whole damn receipt to make sure your damn tomatoes rung up correctly. If seeing the price drop makes you happy then look at the bottom of your receipt you will see how much you saved. Five. You’re the reason why cashiers hate their jobs. Please stop being a jerk to the poor cashier. She has a life, she has feelings. Treat her as such. We deal with crap and having to deal with asshats like yourself isn’t much fun.

To which I can only imagine this person lives to cashier, cashiering is life! Cashier life-yo! Holy shit! I am in complete and total AWE of your insane cashiering prowess. I am truly humbled by your words and will forever work to change my ways so as not to infuriate Cashier-Jesus.

In conclusion, I am now going to make it my mission in life to include at least one derogatory article towards cashiers and retail workers every week here at Belly Billboard. If I get this much interest over something so obviously made up, I might just be able to retire early. Cashiers are boneheaded, insecure, life-hating troglodytes. Keep the dream alive! Maybe you can become “HEAD CASHIER” one day.

26Jan

Stay Out of my Pocket, bro.

Posted in Commentary | Comments Off

I'm Outta Money, Gimme Yours!

I don’t get it. Maybe you can help me understand. Why, all of a sudden, does it seem that the majority of American young adults feel entitled to have something they haven’t worked for? This jealousy is running rampant and it’s pretty ugly to watch.

I usually won’t get political on this site, because, politics are incredibly divisive. And they’re not much fun when people get all butt hurt that you disagree with their opinion on things. While I don’t mind butt hurt people running around, I’d rather it was because of my stance on what the best flavor of Lifesavers are, and not because we don’t like the same idiots in charge of running our country.

This is something that really tears me up though. Lately in our country our young adults have taken to protesting the “unfairness” of not having a high paying job like so many executives in so many corporations. Never mind that they haven’t earned that position, that they haven’t proven themselves worthy or capable of excelling in such a position or the fact that those who currently have these jobs actually worked hard to achieve them. There’s a small percentage of them that were handed their jobs and that’s not fair, but life isn’t fair.

The sooner we beat that into our kids’ heads the sooner we can get back to being a great country. No, it’s not fair that the wealthy have money and you don’t. But it’s not meant to be fair. I believe the Russians tried to alleviate this very same problem a handful of decades ago and they found out that people tend to give up trying to achieve greatness when their reward is the same as the lazy asshole that doesn’t even get out of bed except to vomit up last night’s state-sponsored vodka. That’s the problem with this socialist movement.

And I blame the parents of this generation. Growing up these kids were the first generation where everybody was a winner! Nobody lost, and even when you lost, you were still a champ because you tried. Even if that trying meant that your 7 year old dumbass self was standing in left field for 3 hours picking your nose and eating it. ”You sure were the home-run king of booger eatin’ kiddo! Let’s go to Pizza Hut and then Toys R Us so I can buy you gifts for absolutely no reason.” If kids aren’t taught how to deal with adversity, unfairness and losing early on, they’ll never adapt to the real world where everybody DOESN’T win.

I don’t make much money at all, yet I don’t feel that the government should go up to the wealthy and say “Hey, Gutmeister sure could use some of that good money you’re sitting on, we’re going to give it to him now.” How is that right? I didn’t work for that money, that guy or one of his ancestors did. That’s HIS money and HIS perogative to keep and spend it how he sees fit. I don’t hold a grudge against him for having more money than me.

And further, jealousy is at the root of all these problems. Our kids don’t know how to respect anything anymore. They see that someone else has something better than they do and they’ll go out of their way to destroy or devalue it rather than work hard themselves to try and get the same thing. It’s much easier to tear someone or something down than it is to push yourself to reach new heights and to EARN, yes earn, what you want out of life.

No jobs? No, that’s wrong. There are jobs, they just aren’t the cushy $75k/year jobs that you thought you were going to be gifted upon finishing a few years of college. You might actually, brace yourself, have to WORK for a living for a little while until something you prefer opens up. There’s no shame in minimum wage work, especially if the alternative is sitting in a small mob of unwashed, entitled idiots crying that “it’s not fair!” Grow up.

Ok, sorry. I won’t bring this up again. I just really had to get it out. I see all this “give me give me” shit going on and it really sticks in my craw. And you wouldn’t like me when something’s stuck in my craw.

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