DirecTV’s Hit & Miss Scarred Me For Life

hitandmiss articleLarge 300x175 DirecTVs Hit & Miss Scarred Me For Life

I'd much prefer you shoving a gun in my face, thank you.

Last night, I was watching DirecTV’s Audience channel.  I was watching it because I watch the show, Damages.  I wanted to see Damages season premier and I did just that.  I saw it, and it was good.  They had a scene with titties and everything.

But then, they convinced me to stick around and keep watching for the series premier of a show they call “Hit & Miss”.  Hit & Miss  stars Chloë Sevigny as a transsexual contract killer who discovers she has a child with her former lover. She struggles between caring for her newfound family and maintaining her job as an assassin.

You read that right.  A Transsexual contract killer.  You see, in the opening few minutes, we see her gun a man down in cold blood, then return home to take a shower.  And so far, it’s ok.  She undresses, and we see boobs.  That’s good.  Always a good thing.  Then she takes off her granny panties and BOOM!  Floppy Wang!

This chick has a bigger dong than I do and it’s fake.  Holy jeeeeeezus.  I wasn’t expecting dong.  I mean, I’m not necessarily offended by it or anything, but warn a guy would you?  Here we have Chloe showing us her perky little boobs and I’m enjoying things.  Then all of a sudden, without warning and no good reason, BAM….DONG!

UGH….please please please don’t show me a surprise trouser snake.  Ever.  It’s just not the way decent people do things.