Everyone calls Wednesday “Hump Day” don’t they? They think they’re being naughty by calling it that, with a little wink and nudge. ”Heh heh, hump means two things ya know? I’m so daring!”
Well you know what? Shut your stupid face hole. You’re not clever, you’re not cute and frankly it’s an old ass joke that’s outlived it’s usefulness. How many of you (I’m speaking to the married among you) actually “hump” on hump day? Hmmm? Show of hands….c’mon.
That’s what I thought.
See, nobody who’s been married over six months is humping on hump day regularly. Sure, you might sneak one in now and then, but it’s not as if that’s your designated marital duty day. In fact, most of you just want the week to freakin’ end at this point. Hell, a good many of us think today is either Tuesday or Thursday until someone points out that it’s actually “Hump Day, ha-ha!”
Ugh. Can we call it something else instead? I’ll take any and all suggestions, but here’s a few to get you started:
- Second Tuesday of the Week
- First Thursday of the Week
- Goddamn Trash Night
- Beer Binge Day because, f*ck it.
Most of you are smarter than me, so let me know what you want to call it in the comments. I’ll post the best submissions, (if I get any, that is) later this week.