This Is Presidential Quality Affair Material. For reals.

Well, I’m not much of a fan of our former President Bill Clinton, but apparently someone at PBS has decided he was worthy of a FOUR HOUR Documentary, “Clinton”.  And thanks to this waste of air time, Monica Lewinsky is back in the spotlight.  Though, I imagine her spotlight is more of a pen-light being held under a desk in the dark.

At any rate, Yahoo! searches for Monica Lewinsky, Monica Lewinsky Photos (shudder) and bill and monica have spiked.  Apparently people just can’t get enough of a good maintenance-only blow job story.  Kudos to them, I guess.

The article goes on to ask the question “Where is she now?”  Like anyone really gave two shits before this documentary nonsense came about.  But it would seem that she’s been keeping busy.  In 2005, she moved to London and received her master’s degree in psychology.  Which is fitting, really.  Freud would have a field day with her and Bill’s story.  Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but other times, it’s a sex toy meant to be inserted in an underpaid, homely intern.

She’s back in New York, helming her own company that makes handbags.  I worked hard not to say “hand jobs” but I just couldn’t do it.  The Real Monica Inc. is the name of her handjob bag company.  And good news men, she’s STILL SINGLE!  <crickets>  That’s the collective sound of the nation at large, all not giving a shit at the same time.

I really hope that two hours of this documentary is devoted to watching her squeeze her big ass under a desk in the oval office while Bill encourages her.  ”That’s raht pumpkin, yew jes’ git unner that desk raht thar.  Oooh, Mr. Pres-e-dent is gonna give you a lollipop.  Whoops, fresh out.  Here’s the next best thang.”