NFL.com’s Aditi Kinkhabwala is functionally retarded.

aditi 300x235 NFL.coms Aditi Kinkhabwala is functionally retarded.

Sometimes hiring the mentally handicapped is just a bad idea.

I read alot of Redskins news articles on the internet.  Mainly because I’m always in front of this computer waiting for my plotter to finish some job or another and I have time to kill between jobs.  The fact of the matter is, NFL.com employs some people who wouldn’t even make the cut as assistant fry-cook at McDonald’s.

Aditi Kinkhabwala is one such moron.  I understand that women are equally adept at sports reporting as any man, and in some cases more so.  The problem is, Ms. Kinkhabwala is not one of them.  She’s to sports reporting what Rosie O’Donnell is to penis.

Her recent article, “Robert Griffin III needs dose of reality mixed with adulation” leads me to believe she hooked up a “see and say” machine to her iPhone and shit out an article that’s barely coherent.  Barely.  Let me show you what I mean.

Robert Griffin III strolled to the podium after his first full-squad, offseason practice, looked out at the much-bigger-than-usual crowd of cameras and immediately notified the group he’d cut in front of linebacker London Fletcher in the media-meet line. And then he said, “I hope he doesn’t do anything to me afterwards.”

Hmmm, OK that’s an observation.  So far so good, right?

Fletcher, a 14-year veteran of the NFL, said he was happy Griffin was named the starter before ever taking a full-team snap. Receiver Pierre Garcon said there was nothing rookie-like in either Griffin’s demeanor or his deep ball. Nose tackle Barry Cofield practically gushed about the optimism Griffin has showered on Redskins Park, and six-year veteran Reed Doughty said he’s never seen a team more excited about the possibilities this kid brings.

Amidst all the rookie praise, shouldn’t there be a noogie in there somewhere?

In a league where offering hypothetical bounties on opponents nets your team the loss of their Head Coach, General Manager, Defensive Coordinator, Draft Picks and money, this woman is advocating Rookie Hazing.  Genius.

So no, if a rookie screamed for even a benign rookie hazing, this one isn’t it.

What does that even mean?  Anyone?

Cofield was right: It’s too hard not to like him. Still, playing for him and with him is going to take a bit more action. Like maybe some goalpost-tying.

Yes, to play with a quarterback, one must first lash him to a goalpost.  Until then you will be stuck with a perpetual loser.  That must explain the failure of Heath Schuler.

Look, it’s not like I’m trying to be mean, Ms. Kinkhabwala may well be a very intelligent, warm and friendly person who feeds the homeless and takes in stray animals.  The problem I have is that she threw a pile of words in the blender, added a dash of Emmit Smith and two quarts of complete retard, hit the switch and poured it on the page for everyone to read.

So what is it she’s saying?  Robert Griffin III will be an absolute failure as a quarterback if they don’t haze him in some sophmorically juvenile way?  Does she get her sick sexual thrills at the expense of elite athletes giving each other wedgies?

And more importantly, if she can get a paying job with NFL Network, why the hell can’t I?


  • UnsatisfiedNFLNetworkCustomer

    I am pretty sure I enjoyed this man’s critique of her article more that the time waster that was her article.

  • Anonymous

    This is an offensive statement to retards everywhere.

  • Xraymunky

    Kinda harsh