The P’Zolo is a P’iece of S’hit. How about just the tiniest smidge of honesty in advertising hah? Jeeeeeeezus. I watched the commercials for this thing:
Looks so good!
Don’t those look tasty? Just jam-packed with meat and fillings? And for only $3.00? Who WOULDN’T give Subway’s footlong the boot for one of these fresh baked pieces of heavenly artery clogger? Well I did. This is what I got in my order:
Shown actual size
I laid a dollar bill next to it to show you just how un-footlong-like it really is. It’s barely longer than a single dollar, and tastes just about the same to be honest. As for fillings? Well, there was something inside of mine. I got the Triple Meat Pizza style P’zolo, thinking it would be like a slightly less full P’zone. Well it was absolutely less full.
This thing was 99% bread and 1% sausage and pepperoni. I’m not sure I even got a third meat in this one, not that it would’ve mattered. Holy shit, this was awful. My poor wife opted for their Buffalo Chicken P’zolo, and she was less than enthused as well.
In summation, Pizza Hut, you can go straight to hell for selling me this lump of doughy shit instead of a delicious, meat-packed, fresh-baked Subway Substitute. This is awful. It’s like a prank Ashton Kutcher would film for MTV and then make into a half-hour show with pseudo celebrities. Only this isn’t quite that sad.
Maybe if they had packed it with Viagra, it wouldn’t have been this limp, soggy piece of donkey spleen and would’ve had a little shape or character to it. I’m not so naive that I expect what I order to look like the commercial version, but christ. This was a cruel joke. Somebody thought it’d be funny to take the leftovers out of the garbage and repackage it as something tasty.
I hope you rot in hell Pizza Hut.
