We come back to a RAW remembrance with Stephanie McMahon. And other than her very large, very fake boobs, I didn’t catch any of it. That’s followed with a reminder that Charlie Sheen is a #CELEBRITY #WHO #TWITTERS And I don’t give a shit.
Now, they start introducing Cena, Kane, Show and Jericho. Then they start fighting. Just kidding. John Cena came out and talked to us for about a year or so. Boiled down, all he said was “Money In The Bank” ”Win” ”Never Give Up”
NOW Kane comes out and it’s Flame On! Followed by Sparkly Jericho. You know, Willy Wonka wouldn’t be caught dead in that goddamn jacket. And finally, unghhhh! Big Show comes out. And the fight starts. It literally took 10 minutes to get these three guys introduced and into the ring. I thought maybe I slipped through a wormhole and time lost all meaning.
And the match starts. Jericho and Cena start. Jericho tags out and Show isn’t pleased. Show and Cena are having the world’s dumbest boxing match. Now Kane’s in and they’re hugging. It’s like watching giants pretend to be luchadors.
Finally, we get commercials. But then we come back and my night is ruined. Actually, this was a decent enough match. I was surprised at how good it ended up being. But this pissed me off: Jerry Lawler
At one point, Cena tried to pick Show up for a body slam, and fell. Later, he gave him an Attitude Adjustment. The whole time, Lawler is just AMAZED AT THE STRENGTH OF CENA!!!! I mean, it’s not like Cena never picked up Show and Edge together on his back for a dual Attitude Adjustment or anything.
And then this happened:
At the end of the match, Big Show grabs two ALUMINUM STEP LADDERS and throws them in the ring. Lawler is beside himself in awe with how “easily the Big Show is tossing that ladder around”. Yeah, all 20 pounds of that f*cking thing is an accomplishment that even Hercules himself would have fell short of. F*ck you Lawler…F*ck you so hard.
Needless to say, the match ended without a winner. It was a DQ I guess, but they never said and I didn’t bother to ask. I was just glad to get away from Lawler for a minute.
We get a quick “As The Turd Whirls” recap from earlier tonight regarding AJ and Punk and Bryan and the rest…here on Gilligan’s Isle! And then a commercial.