WWE seriously just did this shit. They ran a faux-commercial advertising the Law Offices of David Otunga. If you have a Twitter account, you have a lawyer. Free legal advice from a pro-wrestler, via the internet.
All this Twitter fluffing is killing me.
Randy Orton comes out to the ring to face Jack Swagger. This is your main event match folks. Orton vs. Swagger. But first, we get three weeks of highlights from the growing feud between Kane and Orton. Why does Kane hate Orton? I don’t know. Do you know? Nobody knows. And that’s what makes for good television. That’s not exactly true, I do know why this is happening. Orton doesn’t have shit else to do at Wrestlemania, and they want to make sure he gets a spot on the card.
The match starts while Orton looks around for Kane, and I shit you not….
But then we come back to the match in progress. I don’t remember much about this one other than Orton looking around for Kane and Swagger’s new “Dennis the Menace” hair style. There were about 2 dozen ankle lock attempts though, and as Orton begins hearing voices, he hits the RKO to finish the match. Uh-oh, Kane’s music and pyro hits, bathing the arena in a red glow. Much like a whore house, I would imagine. But we can’t find Kane! Where he at? I dunno! No matter, let’s talk “Attitudinal” rap by Cena instead and go to a commercial as Jerry Lawler achieves orgasm talking about the Rock showing up next.
Keep reading, I had to watch this shit, it’s the least you can do. Click the page numbers below.