Coming back once again, we’re treated to Wrestlemania promo, and it makes sense. Nothing else is happening between now and April 1st, so yeah. And then we get a recap from the match we just saw. It’s like watching flies fornicate, only without the intrigue. Back in the locker room, Big Johnny tells Zach that he made a mistake and shouldn’t have let him compete tonight, that he wasn’t medically cleared. (remember that envelope that Otunga gave him about three days ago?) Eve gets angry, or happy, or asks about how magnets work. It’s hard to tell with her.
And the moment we’ve all been waiting for, we get a Special Guest Ring Announcer for the upcoming Divas Tag Team Match. Perez Hilton! No, not Paris Hilton, PEREZ Hilton. Celebrity blogger!!!! Wait, that’s a thing now? Celebrity bloggers? Our world is doomed.
So the match is going to be the Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox. Before the bell was rung, I made this prediction: One diva wouldn’t even enter the match before it was over and the special guest ring announcer would somehow get involved. Was I right? Of course I was. Kelly started with Bella A and started winning. Kelly was distracted and Bella B switched places with Bella A trying to pull off some Twin Magic™ but Perez wasn’t havin’ none of that shit! He pulled her out of the ring. Kelly gets the win and Alicia Fox got all dressed up for nothing. These matches are as much fun as getting a sand and glue enema.
And guess what? Another commercial break! Dear God make it stop!