MLK and Disney, On RAW. My head is asplode!
Finally we come back to the show. I hate that they have to interrupt their commercials with this wrestling nonsense, but I guess that’s life in the big city. R-Truth comes out in his street clothes. It is MLK-Day after all. And all the while, Michael Cole is worked into a froth trying to explain to everyone just how “cray-zee” R-Truth is. As Truth begins to speak, the Polish/Englishman, Wade Barrett, interrupts to let everyone know that he doesn’t think “R-Truth” is his real name. Great detective work there Batman. Barrett continues on to tell us and “R-Truth if that is your real name” that he’s going to win the Royal Rumble. There’s thirty competitors and thank GOD that that old “git” Mick Foley isn’t one of them. From here, Barrett calls “R-Truth” crazy, a lunatic and mentions that he deserves to be in a straight jacket. (editor’s note: Is there such a thing as a gay jacket?)
“R-Truth” says that Lil’ Jimmy wanna know if anyone ever told him that he talked funny. Why so mad, Wade? All of a sudden, “R-Truth” is the Joker from The Dark Knight. He tells Wade he shouldn’t be mad, that they’re right across the street from the happiest place on Earth! Disneyland! ”R-Truth” sayes he went there this morning and it made him smile. He misses Wade’s smile. And “R-Truth” even offers to show him some pictures from earlier in the day when he was visiting at the happiest place on Earth. (This is a wrestling show, remember?) And we’re treated to pictures of “R-Truth” with Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse and Donald Duck. I think it was the pantsless duck that set Wade off, he wasn’t standing for that kind of indecency and he gets a little hot under the collar.
“R-Truth” then shows a picture of himself with Pinocchio. When Pinocchio told “R-Truth” that Wade was going to win the Rumble, can you guess what happened? Well, can you? Go ahead and think about it. I’ll wait.
That’s right! His nose started growing!!! He was lyin’ Wade! ”R-Truth” believes that an elephant can fly and that a mouse can talk, but he doesn’t believe that Wade can win the Royal Rumble! And that’s…THE TRUTH! From here, The Miz comes from the crowd and attacks “R-Truth” from behind. Both Wade and Miz put a mud stomping on this poor, crazy man. But thankfully, Sheamus comes to his rescue!
About now, Teddy Long’s music hits and he comes out asking every playah involved to just hole awn a mint. Teddy is taking over and to give the crowd a preview of the 30 man, over-the-top-rope main even at the Royal Rumble, he’s scheduling an impromptu 4 man, over-the-top-rope challenge right now! Hollah!
It’s about a 3 minute match in which we see “R-Truth” claim victory. Appropriate for MLK day don’t you think? So we cut to the back, and there’s Cena confronting Big Johnny about Zach losing tonight. Cena mad. Cena smash! But wait! Big Johnny understands his anger and doesn’t think he’d like him when he gets angry, so he makes a quick match for Cena to get retribution. Cena vs. Swagger, coming up next!!!
Commercial time! If I may ask a serious question, the new movie Chronicle that’s coming out, is this going to be worth a shot? I’m saying no. It’s like Heroes-lite.
Aikman/Hogan/Ass-Copier. Remember this guy?
