Let’s see how this show started out shall we?
AJ was having a conversation with Punk, Daniel Bryan and Kane backstage. She was telling them how great they all were but how their love just wasn’t meant to be. Further, it might be best for them to just all go their separate ways. Then the camera pans back. SWERVE! She was chatting up a mirror you guys. #CrazyChick
Then Nickelback’s intro music for RAW played. That’s two creepy and/or sad things happening within the first four minutes of this show. Not a good sign.
John Cena is mentioned as having Tweeted early today. Make that three creepy and/or sad things.
Vickie then comes out to let us know… EXCUSE ME… That she’s ….EXCUSE ME … in charge of both Raw and … I SAID EXCUSE ME …. Smackdown this week as the acting GM. And because of that, she invoked a Teddy Long special to start off RAW this week. A Triple Threat Elimination match between Kane, Daniel Bryan and CM Punk. Yep, that’s a page right out of Teddy’s playbook. Why be creative when you can be Teddy?
Further more, what’s the point of this Triple Threat Elimination match? The title’s not on the line, obviously it can’t be a number one contender’s match, unless they plan to let Punk fight himself at the next Pay Per View should he win the match tonight. So I don’t know. It’s sloppy and serves no purpose. So, yeah, it was RAW!
Also, if you were to log on to Twitter, you could use #hashtags to vote on who @AJLee should choose as her boyfriend. These were honestly the choices they gave us :
A.) #CM Punk
B.) #Daniel Bryan
D.) #ALL OF THE ABOVE
Wait, what? ALL OF THE ABOVE? Are they suggesting she should be in an orgy relationship with these guys? Way to go PG Ratings! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Anyhow the match gets under way and both Punk and Bryan proceed to kick the living hell out of Kane for about three solid minutes. Then, outside of the ring, Kane slams Daniel into the barrier, and we go to commercial.
We come back and Kane is no longer in control. Those #magicalcommercials always change the momentum of the match. If I were in a match and losing, I would insist on a commercial break. I’d be undefeated.
Anyhow, they jump around, looking good as always, and it’s a good match for a while. Then? AJ’s music comes on, she skips around the ring, distracting Kane thus allowing Punk to get the win with a GTS. This immediately leads to Daniel Bryan kicking Punk in the head and pinning the champ for the overall win.
I just…I’m lost. I have no idea what the hell they’re doing anymore. Backstage, however, Vickie is watching the tv monitors. This leads to Alberto Del Rio coming in, calling her beautiful, and bringing her roses. Of course, Ricardo forgot the vase so he toddles off to retrieve it.
ADR is asking for shot at the World Heavyweight Title this week on Smackdown, Dolph busts in and is all like “no way, I almost beat Sheamus last week, so I get another turn first!” ADR is all like “mexican gibberish that I can’t understand” and finally, Vickie informs them they’ll be in a Pole Match later on to see who gets to be the #1 Contender. A. Goddamn. Pole. Match.