BREAKING NEWS THAT NOBODY GIVES HALF A SHIT ABOUT: WWE.COM has just announced that they have appointed a Social Media Ambassador for the 1,000th episode of RAW. What? Who gives a shit? UGHHH. They won’t tell you who it is unless you log on to WWE.com.
Well I’ll tell you who it is. It’s Charlie Goddamn Sheen. I hope he snorts a mountain of coke before logging on to Tweet for the WWE. That would be a milestone night for me.
Anyhow, the Pole Match between Ziggler and ADR starts. And they both go immediately for the pole, doing as little wrestling as they can to get there. This is a match between two grown men, covered in oil, wearing their underwear, climbing on top of each other to win a pole. Just that I’d point that out. #homoerotic
Eventually Dolph grabs the contract off the pole, but drops it. Now, apparently, you have to have control the contract, like in football. It’s not a reception unless you can control the ball. I don’t know, I’m trying to make sense of this shit.
Anyways, Sheamus comes out and interrupts them saying, “No need to keep fighting boys, you’re both in the match Friday. Its’ a TRIPLE THREAT match!” So basically, that was a pointless exercise in futility for these guys. But at least you got to see two oily men in underwear climb on each other trying to win the pole. What?
AJ’s talking to Punk backstage, wants to make it up to him. She said after she wins the Divas Beach Battle Royal, she’ll dedicate that match to him. After that, we can sit and have a serious talk. AJ says she knows what he means, and that they can take their relationship to the next level. I wish this shit would end.