Seriously. Watching someone else text is the highlight of my goddamn day.
We see Big Johnny Tweeting disinterestedly at ringside while Otunga hovers over his shoulder sipping coffee. That’s what lawyers do, sip coffee wherever they are.
Out comes Big Show to face Kane. Will Big Show get screwed in this match like he did Friday on Smackdown? Place your bets now.
Kane comes out to the ring. You know, I’m a big supporter of Kane, but he’s quickly becoming that weird relative that you have. The one you have to be nice to and put up with at family functions, but mostly try to avoid at all costs.
So, Show goes on the attack, and it’s a standard Show vs. Kane match. They eventually roll outside the ring where Show delivers one hell of a spear to Kane. It looked brutal. They get back in the ring and as Show is about to go for the pin, Big Johnny interrupts.
He demands his apology NOW. Which, as we all know, when you distract a professional athlete in the middle of a contest, he is immediately dumbstruck and cannot possibly concentrate on two things at once. This leads to Kane getting a cheap win. And Big Johnny gets in the ring to berate Big Show.
This big bastard actually cried on live television. Good work Show, maybe the crowd will sympathize with you.
He insists on his apology. Show tells him that ever since he started in WCW 18 years ago, he’s been able to live his dream. He’s seen and done it all. He could walk away now with no regrets. But he won’t. He’ll miss the kids, the fans, the wrestling and the wrestlers. Please let him stay.
And they go back and forth with Johnny finally insisting that Show get down on his knees and beg for his job. And to save you some time, Show refuses to get on his knees, instead begging him to accept his apology. Big Johnny says he’ll reconsider it. Which is interesting, because wouldn’t he have to consider it first?
Anyhow, he heads to the back, stops and tells Show he’s going to fire him. Show interrupts, gets on his knees and cries like a little bitch begging for his job. Johnny smirks and says “Best of luck on your future endeavors. You’re fired” Ha! He sure showed Big Show didn’t he? Ha!
Show cries and we go to Commercial. Thank you God. That segment was worse than HHH at the start of the show. I was actually in physical pain.
