Big Johnny comes out on his HoverRound™ with Hoeski and Otunga in tow. They get to the ring about 10 minutes later and stand in front of an easel that has a black sheet draped over it.
Big Johnny announces three things:
- Big Show will face Brodus Clay tonight. You know, in case you decided to go pee while that happened backstage.
- At No Way Out, John Cena will face Big Show in a Steel Cage. Which has a way out, if you think about it.
- Big Johnny is now the most popular superstar in WWE History.
He talks about WWE 13 the video game coming out, and unveils the cover art with his picture on it. That’s when CM Punk’s music hits. Punk comes out to the ring and unfortunately takes a page from either the Rock or Cena’s playbook.
- He makes small-dick jokes about Big Johnny for about 10 minutes. Compares him to Pac Man as neither of them have any testicles apparently.
Then he unveils the REAL cover of WWE 13 with his picture on it. It’s a huge wall hanging poster from above the ring. You could create tents for 300 people with this thing. I’m trying to say it was big.
From here, Punk gets back into the dick jokes:
- Unsurprisingly, Mine is bigger than yours!
- Eve notices it too. She’s looking at mine. Because, Hoeski.
- A wrestling game with a WRESTLER on the cover. Wait, that’s not a dick joke.
Anyhow, he tells Big Johnny to leave the ring and take the Hoeski and Carlton with him. Then tells Johnny that he’s got a match with Daniel Bryan. Johnny wishes him good luck and Punk says “Luck’s for losers” as his music cues back up.
Commercial! On a happier note, Sin Cara will be back Friday on Smackdown! I love that guy.