Reflections on Belly Billboard

Sorry ladies, I'm spoken for.

You know, when I started this blog and the idea to sell message space on my gut over at Fiverr.com I really had very little hope that it would become much of a thing. I mean, it’s funny to people to see a big fat hairy gut with lipstick scrawled across it and then even funnier when you share it with the world. I get it. I just never thought it would turn into such a big thing for me.

In the short time I’ve been doing this, right around 8 months I believe, I’ve fulfilled almost 2 dozen orders for Belly Billboard messages and each one is always fun to do. My wife gets a huge kick out of scribbling on me with hooker lipstick, and even more fun watching me try to scrub it off through all the hair in my man-pelt. I use a scotchbrite scrubber and liquid soap, in case you were wondering. I all but remove the top layer of my epidermis for you people. I am that dedicated to your enjoyment.

Anyhow, I just wanted to use this post to say thanks. And for everyone who’s coming by regular to read my inane writing, I really appreciate you doing that. I never thought anyone would be interested in much of what goes on inside my brain. I thank you.

Update – Belly Billboard for John Cheese

This is just a quick little update to share with you the Belly Billboard message that I did for Mr. John Cheese as a token of thanks for agreeing to my terrible interview yesterday.

Without further ado, here ’tis:

johncheese 251x300 Update Belly Billboard for John Cheese

And he ain't gettin out!

Holiday Shopping Made Easier

What What? Christmas on My Gut!

You’re welcome. You can still hire my gut for your holiday gift giving needs! Any message, $5. I’ll send you the high quality digital photo and if you want, for another $5 I’ll print you up a full color custom greeting card that you can send to that person in your life that’s just impossible to buy for. We can even add your message inside.

Visit the shop and order yours today. They’re going fast and there’s no better way to say “Eh, I don’t really give a shit” than to give a Belly Billboard for Christmas, Hanuukah, Kwanza or Festivus.

Ol’ Turkey Neck

Norville Turner, Coach Norv. Head Coach of the San Diego Chargers. Is it just me, or does he look like the result of a lonely hunter, too much whiskey and an unfortunate wild turkey? I’m just sayin’.

For $5, I’ll write “NORV RULES” on my belly for him. Otherwise, he’s dead to me.

DeezTeez.com uses Belly Billboard!

DeezTeez.com is an online seller of some of the funniest and occasionally anti-social t-shirts around. Super high quality products and great customer service are what you’ll find when you head over to their site to put what’s on your mind on your shirt.

Even if you don’t know what you think about something, DeezTeez.com has a shirt that does. Let the shirt do the thinking for you. It’s easier for everyone that way.

I know it’s easy for you to question this company seeing as how they purchased ad space on my gut, but hey, it’s a brave new millennium we’re living in folks, and these guys are pioneers!

If you’re in the market for great tees at great prices, look no further than DeezTeez.com! Tell ‘em I sent ya! Or actually, don’t, they’ll likely charge you extra for reminding them.

Black Dog and Rebel Rose and My Gut?

So, apparently there’s this author out there writing books. Well, I assume that’s what authors do, they might just bake tiny, bite-sized pastries made from ground unicorn hooves for all I know.

Anyhow, this particular author, Danielle D. Smith, has written and released a book entitled “Black Dog and Rebel Rose”. It’s available for instant download to your Kindle at Amazon right now! And it’s only 99 cents! 99 CENTS, that’s less than a 40 oz of malt liquor.

To promote her book, or ensure that it will fail horribly, Ms. Smith commissioned a Belly Billboard of her very own to mark this momentous occasion!

It’s definitely worth checking out. Belly Billboard wishes Danielle and her new book all the success in the world! (don’t hold the belly thing against her, read the book, it’s pretty damn good)

Belly Billboards For Everyone!

small2 300x225 Belly Billboards For Everyone!

As I’m sure most of my loyal readers already know (both of them), I have a Gig on Fiverr.com where I offer to write any message you want on my super sexay belly and send you a photo of it for whatever sick and perverted reasons you might have. That’s your business.

In the two weeks this gig has been available, I’ve had 2 paying customers and have given one away to a contest winner through my Facebook page. Now don’t think all this success is going to my head, or my gut for that matter. I did however, decide to set up this blog site so that I could offer my services to more people and be able to share my considerable wit at the same time.

I may even have a guest blogger here from time to time to contribute her insanity to the party. As things grow and evolve, I’m sure we’ll be offering more ways to embarrass or disgust your friends and family. I still don’t know how you can see my hirsute rotundness and NOT start ordering your very own Belly Billboard message. It’s cheap, $5 and it’s definitely unique. And I’m willing to bet that Grandma has never had a birthday wish this memorable.

Enjoy the insanity, I always do!

Belly Billboard

What What? On My Gut!