Belly Billboard

The NFL Schedule has been released? Whoopty shit.

Yay?  I mean, honestly if you wanted to know who your team would be playing this year, you could look it up on the NFL web site, or hell even on Wikipedia.  The only thing you didn’t know was what time and if you were getting a non-Sunday game out of the deal.

How is this such a big deal in the world of sports?  I don’t get it.  It’s the release of the schedule for god’s sake, it’s not the start of the season.  At the end of the day, you now have a more organized list of your team’s opponents, and that’s pretty much it.  How dumb is that?

And yet, ESPN, NFL Network, Sports Illustrated and all the other hangers-on are out there acting as though we’re about to be gifted the lost scriptures or something.  Please.

Next up in the NFL’s year-round coverage of anything but the actual game of football will be the 2012 NFL Draft.  This has become an event unto itself over the years.  All major sports host a draft of their own to acquire and distribute new young talent throughout their respective leagues, and yet, only the NFL has managed to turn theirs into a big deal.

We rent out Radio City Music Hall, we have LIVE television coverage spanning the entire four days this mess takes, and we have analysts at the ready to discuss and dissect every decision made as it’s made and for weeks after it’s been made.  This is just proof that we need a Spring league for the NFL, something tangible to keep our sportscasters busy.

If I have to hear one more human interest story about Tony Romo’s golf game or “random player x does something random in his downtime” I think I might lose my goddamned mind.

This guy gets paid for this shit. And I don't?

Ok, I was reading the NFL.com web site today so sue me.  I’m missing football in the worst ways.  I actually get withdrawl shakes and cold sweats when I turn on the TV on Sunday only to find there’s nothing worth watching until Jousting at 10pm.  I’m dying here.  So yes, I went over to NFL.com to get the latest.  And instead of good football news, I’m treated to this horseshit from Albert Breer - No telling what could happen this week at NFL Annual Meeting

Let me break it down for you as Albert seems to be missing the mark completely.  My comments will be in italics, while the original pieces of the article will be bold.  Now you can follow along at home.

The NFL Annual Meeting is always more about the part of the league you don’t see than the part you do.

Yes, it’s about the naked old-man orgies and the near derelict desire to acquire more money than God himself.  This is so much not news.

Saints’ punishment

The NFC coaches breakfast, when all 16 of the conference’s coaches are available to the media, is set for Wednesday morning. Sean Payton might talk then. He might talk sooner. And he’ll have plenty of questions to answer. Who will take his place in the coming weeks? And for the 2012 season? Then, we have the issue of discipline for Saints players like Jonathan Vilma and ex-Saints like Scott Fujita and Tracy Porter.

And we also must know what happens to Gregg Williams and his ilk.  Were they wrong to offer bounties?  Yes.  Were the unique in doing so?  Absolutely not.  Is this just heavy handed bullshit from an overreaching Commissioner hellbent on leaving his personal stink on every single issue that comes up?  Well of course.  Roger Goodell is a moron who obviously has penis length issues.  Let’s go ahead and buy him some Enzyte and hire a hooker to act in awe of his massive earth crushing penis.  Maybe that will cure what ails him.

There’s more, click the page numbers!