Belly Billboard

Unlike many WWE performers, I know when to quit.

I’ve written faithfully every week for almost six months, recapping the stupidity that is WWE’s Monday Night RAW.

Since they’ve gone to their expanded three-hour format, I’ve found that I simply cannot stand it anymore.  It takes entirely too long to watch through with the extra hour of recaps and commercials they’re running, and frankly, it’s getting stale.

Same feuds, same storylines, nothing’s moving nobody is getting elevated.  It’s stagnant.

Maybe at some point in the future I might rekindle my interested and resurrect this feature.  But for now, it will cease.  I’m sorry to the one person who actually stops by to read it from time to time, but it’s for the best.

I hope to begin a series on another shitty show called “Nightmare Next Door”.  Stay tuned!

RAW – One Hour Longer! Because we couldn’t fit enough commercials into a two-hour show.

RAW happened again last night.  The third installment of three hour shows.  I’m still not sure if I like the extra hour or not, considering we’ve had all of three shows to try it out so far.

Show #1,000 was good, show #1,001 was barely better than awful, and show #1,002 was, well pretty good to be quite honest.  I still found things that irritated the living piss out of me, but that’s to be expected when you have 17 monkeys with typewriters creating your scripts.

It was also supposed to be HBK Appreciation Night in San Antonio, but to the WWE’s credit, they saved most of the self-fellating for after the show went off the air.  I mean, we still had to endure an HBK segment in the ring where he’s just so honored and so thrilled and so taken aback and so gracious you guys!  But in the end, it wasn’t a show killer.

You see, the way I rate these shows is by how much of it I actually enjoyed compared to how much of it tried to give me brain hemorrhoids.  Surprisingly enough, and much to my chagrin, there were only a handful of things that really irked me, and the rest of the show was of good enough quality that I could over look them.  That doesn’t mean I’m not about to be an asshole anyways.

Let’s get started.

Seriously, Three Hours of this shit is enough to make me want to burn their stage down.

In case you missed RAW, and I don’t blame you if you did, they caught the set on fire prior to the show.  Yes, they literally set fire to their own set.

If only they had caught the booking list on fire too.

Now, let’s be honest.  I’m truly thrilled that we’re rid of Nickelback’s goddamn intro song, but now it seems the curse of Chad Kroeger will forever haunt Vince McMahon’s company.  You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Anyhow, it was three hours of RAW, episode 1,001 and it came on the heels of a really good 1,000th episode celebration.  So, how did they follow it up?  By shitting the bed, to be quite honest.

We had AJ the GM, Daniel Bryan the jilted lover, CM Punk the selfish bastard that he should always be and John Cena never giving up.  Also, Big Show was there to Big Show around.

While there were a couple of bright spots in the show, overall, they fell flat in my opinion.  A lot of matches thrown in there that just didn’t make sense to me.  They aren’t helping any of the guys participating in them and the crowd could give less than half a shit.

With that said, let’s take a look at what all transpired.

While we support Anti-Bullying outside the ring, Inside the ring it's all about ratings baby!

Ok, first off let me apologize for being so lax on updating the site lately.  I’m sorry.  Really, I’m sorry.  Actually, I’m not.  See, I run a sign shop on my own and I’ve been busier than hell this past week.  So you people can suck it.  See?  YOU PEOPLE!  I’m a heel!  Anyhow, I hope to be back to regular updates this week for you.

Tonight’s RAW was, well, it was something.  We had some wrestling, we had some storylines, and we also had Pizza Hero job offers from Domino’s.  It’s a win-win-lose situation.  Overall, not a terrible show.  It had it’s moments.

I’d also like to state, for the record, that I started watching RAW at 10 pm, ONE FULL HOUR after the start time of the live show thanks to my DVR.  At 11:10 my time, I had 20 minutes left of actual RAW programming to watch.  By my calculations, that’s nearly 45 minutes of wasted time.  I forwarded through every commercial break and the Big Show interview towards the end of the program.  Yes, they hate us that much.

As always, I’m going to ask you to follow me on Twitter, Facebook and to leave a comment if you can.  As always, you’re going to ignore my pleas and go on with your life anyways.  The best I can do is ask.  The best you can do is goddamned help a brother out!

Let’s get this thing over with shall we?  We shall.