Belly Billboard

Yes, if you're unsure, it's a euphemism for masturbating.

It’s once again Friday, and once again nothing great is happening at the Gut-Ranch.  But I can recap what’s happened this week, so that’s what I’m going to do.

Monday Night Raw was horrid, once again – BellyBillboard

Monday Night Raw, via John Cena, announced a THIRD GODDAMNED HOUR OF PROGRAMMING – BellyBillboard

Disco Queen Donna Summer passed away, and idiots took to Twitter to pay their respects.  - Billboard

Insufferable douchebag Will Smith and his family were visiting the Obamas, son Jaden decided to ask about aliens.  Yahoo! Movies

Arby’s served up some Good Mood Food with a middle finger to a teenager in Michigan.  So much for the Good Mood.  Shine

Robert Griffin III™ was on Leno last night.  Fumbled Returns talks about it.  FumbledReturns

Finally, you have two more days to follow my sports blog on Twitter for a chance to win two Robert Griffin III™ Sage Hit Rookie Cards.  It’s free to enter, I just need friends.  Dammit, be my friend!

That's my dog, Friday.

In the first of an ongoing series, I’d like to introduce you to “Floggin’ the Friday Dog”.  I’ll be (hopefully) publishing a new article in this series every week.  As always, I can’t guarantee it, but that’s the plan.

Let’s get on with it then.  No sense in screwin’ around with alot of introductory self-fellating now there is there?  So, for the inaugural edition of “Floggin’ the Friday Dog”, let’s look back on the week that was…

Dear God, NOOOOOOO!!!!!

Dick Clark died at the age of 82.  Rest in Peace, Dick.  But I will forever curse your soul because you’re the reason all of America will have to suffer huge doses of Ryan Seacrest every New Year’s Eve.  If there was a just and loving God, he would have taken Seacrest instead.

Meh

The NFL released their 2012 Official Schedule.  Whoopty shit.  I don’t get the excitement.  Never have, never will.

Double-Meh

The Space Shuttle Columbia was flown over parts of America.  People lost their shit with excitement.  It was basically the same as any other flyover, except they were hauling a multi-billion dollar door stop this time.

No More Sunday Night Tes-tacular Testosterone

Full Metal Jousting had it’s season finale and crowned their first ever champion, with the winner walking away $100,000 richer and growing his balls three sizes that day.

The absolute f*ckin worst day of the week.

I decided that Thursdays have always and will always suck balls.  Seriously, screw Thursday.

48 uninterrupted hours of pure Miller Time!

As always, I’m off on Saturdays, at least until the football season kicks off once again.  I pop in occasionally on Sunday to vent my frustrations, but otherwise, I will see you losers on Monday.  Don’t know what I’m going to write about on Monday now that Jousting is over, I’ll have to find something else here soon.