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Tag Archives: hangover

Monday Bullshit Hangover – I’m Stumped

bbq beer Monday Bullshit Hangover Im Stumped

No Jousting? No Football? Screw it, I got grub.

It’s once again Monday.  Once again there was no Football or Jousting on for me to write about.  So I invited some friends over yesterday, we ate about 7lbs of pork bbq and drank beer.  (Not those damned Miller Lite punch top cans either.)

And what did we do?  Well what the hell do a bunch of 30-somethings do when they get together?  Sat around and thanked god we didn’t have to work on Sunday.  That we had the day off to shoot the shit, eat the pig and drink the beer.  That’s a good Sunday in my book.

If you need therapy, you can’t beat hanging out with some friends and having good food.  Screw Xanax and Prozac, hand me a six pack and a plate piled high with grub and my mood improves immediately.  Add a couple of friends, and it’s just utopia.

We tried to find something to watch on TV.  Since I don’t really like MLB, I don’t have the special package that lets you see all the games, and there wasn’t anyone playing yesterday in our area, so I tried Hockey.  I like hockey, but I don’t understand it, and finally I found a college baseball game to watch.  That’s something I can get into.  Amateurs, minor leagues, all those guys who aren’t making millions, it just feels like they’re playing harder and with more passion because they WANT to make all that money one day.

Maybe it’s just me being pedantic.  I don’t know, I don’t care.  Had beer, had BBQ.  Beyond that, nothing matters.

The Monday Football and Holiday Hangover

Did everyone have a good Thanksgiving holiday?  Didja?  I really don’t care, mine was great, and that’s what’s important really.  We had a 25lb Roast Turkey and a 15lb Smoked Turkey, lots of fixins and beers.  And two, count ‘em TWO apple pies.  Oh life is grand on Thanksgiving for the ol’ Gutmeister.

Did you go shopping on Black Friday?  How about Mauve Saturday?  Puce Sunday perhaps?  Not me, no sir.  I have no desire to get sprayed in the mouth with pepper spray while trying to obtain a piece of imported Chinese plastic at prices slashed lower than whale shit.  It’s insanity, and honestly if I’m not involved, I love it.  Go for it, I say next year bring out the tasers and even a good ol’ fashioned throwback set of brass knuckles.  Grandma’s gonna get her ass handed to her if I don’t get me a crock pot for $7.95.

And finally, Sunday NFL Football.  Ahhhh, sweet sweet relief for us Redskins fans.  Yes, the Skins finally managed to win a game against an equally horrible team, but didn’t destroy them.  In fact, the Redskins and the officials made every effort to allow the Seahawks a chance to walk out with a victory.  Apparently living in Seattle Washington has affected the team’s mood and put them in such a deep depression that they’ve just flat given up.

Who could blame them?  It’s rainy, and miserable and basically the moldy taint of America up there.  I would lose every game too just to see if they’d trade me to ANYWHERE else.  Canada, Australia, Lebanon…anywhere.  Just get me the hell out of Seattle.

Even our dear head coach was pleased….

shannyhappy The Monday Football and Holiday Hangover

Happy Shanny is Happy.

Thank the Turkey and Stuffing gods for this win.  I will end this article now, but check in tomorrow as I’m attending the WWE RAW TV Taping tonight in my hometown and might have something to bitch about.

Monday Football Hangover

shannyflustered 300x145 Monday Football Hangover

What the? Just what in the holy f*ck was that?

See that photo there?  That expression just says it all.  ”WHAT. THE. SERIOUS. F*CK??!!!”  The 3-5 Washington Football Redskins traveled to Miami to face the 1 – 7 Dolphins in a game that should have been a slam dunk win.  Except that the Redskins likely couldn’t be the Podunk Junior College Kumquats if you spotted them 2 touchdowns and made the other team play in walking casts.

It’s getting pathetic to be a Redskins fan.  After a great start to the season, one filled with hope and in the midst of a rebuilding effort, Redskins fans thought we finally turned a corner and got something positive going for a change.  Instead, we get the absolutely shittiest end of the football stick.  Even under Jim Zorn, Steve Spurrier, Norv Turner and Marty Schottenheimer, this team never did so consistently poorly in all facets of the game.

In fact, the only thing they’re good at is Special Teams.  And watching them play, it’s appropriate that Special Teams is stellar, considering the rest of them look like they took the short bus to the stadium.

And I don’t blame the players all that much.  Sure Beck and Grossman are backup quarterbacks at best, but we have three damn good running backs.  The offensive line, however, can’t block it’s way out of a porta-john with the doors ripped off, so that kills the running game.  And then you have the offensive coordinator, Little Kyle Shanahan, giving up on the ground game four plays into the first quarter.  And why not?  You have the Sex Cannon Rex Grossman under center, he can take it deep everytime.  It’s usually a completion too!  Only to the wrong team.

That’s not to say that the players are bad though.  When you have Brian Orakpo, Ryan Kerrigan, Perry Riley and London Fletcher at Linebakcer, and Laron Landry at saftey, you’ve got something to build on.  DeAngelo Hall needs to go.  He’s like Deion Sanders, only nobody likes him.  Deion was fast.  D-Hall is fast.  Deion was known to trash talk.  D-Hall talks trash like a champ.  Deion was afraid to tackle.  D-Hall is afraid to cover receivers.

Ugh.  If you’d like to follow Shanny’s perspective, you can do so through Twitter at:  @NotMikeShanny

Monday Football Hangover

madshanny Monday Football HangoverWell, well, well.  Shanahan Inc. and the Redskins managed to ruin another otherwise nice weekend of watching football.  The Redskins managed to shit the bed in an entirely new way this week, and for that I guess I should be grateful.  I mean, we were doing so-so through the first half.  Then, in the second half, the Coach’s Son decides to call all passing plays.

While this is great for your team if you have an offensive line, a good quarterback and maybe a receiver or two that can occasionally a.) get open, and b.) hold on to the damn ball when it’s thrown to them, it’s probably not the best idea if you’re the Washington Redskins with John Beck and an ensemble cast of offensive linemen.

On the upside, if you notice that picture above, that’s what went out on the front page of the Washington Post this morning.  Looks like Shanahan finally got a snoot full of the shit he’s been putting on the field this season.  Either that or his son Kyle just soiled another diaper and needs changed.  I’m not sure it isn’t both.

Now I know alot of my readers (3 of the 5) probably aren’t real big into football, and just kind of glance over these Football Hangover articles, but, it’s part of my court-ordered therapy, so bear with me.

Statistically, the Redskins are doing about the same as any local semi-pro team made up of never-was college and pro wanna be players.  At best, they could beat a community college team, if that team was forced to play after consuming 5 or 6 jager-bombs.

On the upside, here’s some stats that thrilled me from Sunday’s Game:

Beers Drank – 10
Bathroom Breaks taken – 3
Snacks consumed – many

See ya on Tuesday.

Monday Football Hangover

hangover1 297x300 Monday Football HangoverYou never realize how much you miss something until it’s been gone a while and you get it back.  Way back at the start of this year, it looked as though we weren’t going to have the NFL for 2011.  Bastards.  I had resigned myself to watching College ball.  And frankly that’s painful for a fan of Pro- football.

Why is it painful?  Because, I can’t follow one team all season on TV for one thing.  If you’re a fan of LSU, you’ll see maybe 6 or 7 of their regular season games on TV.  No, I don’t go to the stadiums either.  I can’t be spending money on a ticket, that decreases the amount of beer I can ingest.  Plus, I don’t like people.  Hate people.  Despise people.

So, when the NFL kicked off yesterday, I was in my glory.  I had beer, wings, beer, dips, beer, chips, beer, pizza and beer.  I settled in around 1pm, and didn’t un-ass myself (except for the beer runs and bathroom breaks) until nearly midnight.  Ahhh, the joys of the slothful.

But today, oh, today is sucking pretty hard already.  I awoke with the taste of gym socks and cheap beer in my mouth, it’s all I can do to sit at this desk today, because I over-extended my ass somehow yesterday.  Who knew you had to train to be motionless for 11 hours?

But I do all that for YOU people.  So that you get the most gut for your buck.  Belly Billboards are great gifts.