Tagged: reflections

24Jan

Reflections on Belly Billboard

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belly2 300x225 Reflections on Belly Billboard

Sorry ladies, I'm spoken for.

You know, when I started this blog and the idea to sell message space on my gut over at Fiverr.com I really had very little hope that it would become much of a thing.  I mean, it’s funny to people to see a big fat hairy gut with lipstick scrawled across it and then even funnier when you share it with the world.  I get it.  I just never thought it would turn into such a big thing for me.

In the short time I’ve been doing this, right around 8 months I believe, I’ve fulfilled almost 2 dozen orders for Belly Billboard messages and each one is always fun to do.  My wife gets a huge kick out of scribbling on me with hooker lipstick, and even more fun watching me try to scrub it off through all the hair in my man-pelt.  I use a scotchbrite scrubber and liquid soap, in case you were wondering.  I all but remove the top layer of my epidermis for you people.  I am that dedicated to your enjoyment.

Anyhow, I just wanted to use this post to say thanks.  And for everyone who’s coming by regular to read my inane writing, I really appreciate you doing that.  I never thought anyone would be interested in much of what goes on inside my brain.  I thank you.

05Jan

Winter in South Carolina

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tropical 300x227 Winter in South Carolina

Not Pictured – South Carolina Winters

As the last leaves have fallen from the trees, and the Earth begins it’s annual hibernation, I’d like to share with you the wonderous joys that one can experience when living in South Carolina for the Winter.  It’s a time of rest, a time of anticipation.  All the hustle and bustle of activity has ceased, and along with Mother Earth herself, we begin preparations for the bounties of the approaching Spring.

Trees are barren, fields are silent.  Animals are hunkering down.  Life slows to a crawl…

 

 

 

Ha!  You thought I was going to sit here and wax poetic on the weather, and life in general didn’t you?  You did, admit it.  God you’re gullible.

But seriously, Wintertime in South Carolina is kinda cool for a guy who grew up in Maryland.  Winter there meant shovelling snow, freezing your testicles off waiting for the school bus, being forced to go up on the roof to knock the ice loose before it collapsed the overhang on the porch.  It meant avoiding frozen daggers of death, threatening to fall from the gutters every time you were in the garage.  Icicles suck.  In South Carolina, at least where I’m at, we get mild Winters.  For example, this year, I think we’ve had 3 days where the temps were below 40 during the day.  I haven’t worn a coat yet.  It regularly reaches 60 – 65 degrees during the day, and I haven’t had to run the furnace at all.

I’m able to go out, wherever I like, whenever I like and I don’t have to defrost any windshields.  I don’t have to worry about door locks freezing over, and there’s no snow to shovel at all.  I get two seasons here in South Carolina most years.  Blazing-ass hot Summers and Mild and Enjoyable Winters.  There’s really no inbetween.  It’s wonderous.  The only bad part about all of this…it’s South Carolina.  Specifically the capital city, Columbia.  This area sucks harder than a Philipino Lady-Boy. (not that I’d know).  It’s crowded, it’s congested, they people here suck.  But the weather is nice in the Winter.  I highly recommend the weather.  The people and the area?  Not so much.